Criticism: Constructive or Constrictive?
Devotions for Growing Christians
Criticism: Constructive or Constrictive?
Numbers 12:1-2 - "Then Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Cushite woman he had married; 2and they said, 'Has the Lord indeed spoken only through Moses? Has He not spoken through us as well?' And the Lord heard it."
Read the rest of Numbers 12.
Criticism of others is a sin! It’s a sin we find easy to excuse in ourselves if we label it "constructive criticism” - but our so-called "constructive” criticism is very often "constrictive” criticism. Critical comments can be very damaging, and can even destroy the lives of other people. Rather than encouraging and helping our friends, we stifle their personalities and stunt their growth. And we who engage in the deadly practice of habitually criticizing others are guilty of a deep-rooted sin, the sin of pride. For this reason, the Bible teaches that criticism of others is very wrong, and leads to serious consequences.
In Numbers 12, Moses was criticized by his brother, Aaron, and his sister, Miriam. Miriam and Aaron criticized Moses in two areas: his marriage and his ministry (v1-2).
Moses had married a woman of another race, and Miriam and Aaron criticized his choice. We don't know exactly whether Cuhisshite wife was from Africa or Asia. (The King James translation of "Ethiopia" is possibly misleading at this point.) Furthermore, we don't know whether this Cushite woman was the Zipporah from Midian, whom Moses had married earlier (Exodus 2:16-21), or a second wife that Moses had married after Zipporah’s death. In any case, Miriam and Aaron had no basis for their criticism of Moses' personal choice of a wife. And by the way, although interracial marriage is not our primary subject here, it’s worth noting from this Scripture that the Bible does not condemn interracial marriages.
Jealousy
Miriam and Aaron also criticized Moses because of his position as God's leading spokesman. This was the ministry that God had given his servant Moses, but Miriam and Aaron were jealous because they felt Moses had an unfair monopoly on revelations from the Lord. Miriam and Aaron weren’t "nobodies" in the covenant community. They had been given important roles. God made Miriam a prophetess (Exodus 15:20) and Aaron the high priest. Although they had significant positions, they were still jealous of Moses and his "higher" position.
Miriam's and Aaron's criticism of Moses' marriage and ministry is typical of all personal criticism. We either criticize something about the person, or something about the person’s position.
Derogatory comments about someone else's appearance or mannerisms or abilities or choices are criticism of the person as an individual. Do we make fun of a person's large nose, or eating habits, or clothing choices? If so, are we any better than Miriam and Aaron who criticized Moses' choice of a mate?
Sometimes our poisonous comments are made about another person's achievements, or responsibilities, or authority. This kind of critical remark is basically criticism of the person's position. Is any one of us innocent of pointing up our boss's inadequacies, or knocking our spiritual leaders for the way things are done in our local church? Is this any different than the conduct of Miriam and Aaron when they criticized the leadership ministry of Moses?
Pride
Why were Miriam and Aaron critical of Moses? Their basic problem was pride! Remember that Aaron and Miriam were Moses’ older siblings. During the confrontation with Pharaoh in Egypt, Aaron had an up-front role as the spokesman for Moses. Now, however, older brother Aaron had been put in what he probably considered a secondary position. Aaron's hurt ego manifested itself in criticism.
Miriam's role as prophetess probably gave rise to a desire to be more prominent. If God was speaking to the people through her prophecies, why wasn't she recognized as a leader? Possibly Miriam's pride was further hurt when 70 Israeli elders were also given the ability to prophesy (Numbers 11:24-30). And maybe there was even some jealousy between Miriam and Moses' wife as to who was the "First Lady"! In any case, Miriam's proud spirit was hurt, and the result was criticism.
Criticism of others is always the bad fall-out of unchecked and uncontrolled pride. When our pride is hurt, it isn't long before we're guilty of personal criticism.
Criticism of others is like the leaves on a tree of pride. Think of the roots and the trunk of the tree as the basic sin of pride. When the sin of pride is not controlled in our lives, it branches out into all kinds of other evils. Some of the branches of the tree of pride are jealousy, contempt, refusal to submit to authority, ego trips, arrogance, etc. These branches (and many other branches) produce the leaves of criticism. When a leaf of personal criticism is in our mouths, it is certain that the root of pride is in our hearts. The Holy Spirit, by the way, is the great Controller of our pride - when we permit Him.
Discipline
The seriousness of the sin of criticism becomes shockingly clear when we observe the Lord's reaction to Miriam’s and Aaron’s criticism. The Lord heard the criticism - a fact we tend to overlook when we criticize others! And He disciplined Miriam and Aaron for their sin. "The anger of the Lord burned against them" (v9). There’s no doubt about it! The Lord does not take a lenient, "everybody does it" view of criticism.
The fact that Miriam became a leper further emphasizes the gravity of this sin. But why only Miriam? Why didn't Aaron get leprosy too? The answer is not that God is a male chauvinist, as some critics distortedly teach! The answer is contained in verse 1, but we can’t detect it in our English translations. In the Hebrew text, the verb "spoke" is in the feminine singular form. This indicates that Miriam probably initiated and led the criticism.
God used a form of discipline that cut through the leaves and branches to the root problem of pride. It’s pretty difficult to be proud as a leper! And when God disciplines us, He won’t just deal with our surface problems. He will always cut through to deal with the basic problem. If we mouth off in criticism, we can be sure that we will “eat humble pie.” Is it possible that God allowed a recent humbling experience in your life - or my life - to stem the tide of criticism that was pouring out of our mouths?
Invariably, the sin of criticizing others affects many people detrimentally. It's often been said that “you can't sin in a vacuum.”
The Lord departed. The Lord departed (v9)! Think of it! The presence of the Lord departed from Israel because of personal criticism! Is it possible that you’re not experiencing much of the living presence of the Lord within your local church fellowship because there’s too much criticism of one another? Maybe even because of your critical comments?
Israel could not move forward. The entire camp of Israel could not move forward until the sin of criticism was judged (vs15-16). Is it possible that my criticism of others is hindering the spiritual progress of my brothers and sisters in Christ?
Once we recognize and confess this sin, how should we deal with our tendency to criticize others? God has incorporated the answer right here in Numbers 12. Just knowing how serious this sin is should help us put a seal on our lips. It should make us afraid to criticize others (v8)!
Furthermore, we should be like Moses and not retaliate. So often our criticism of others is "return fire" when our pride is hurt! Moses did not take verbal revenge - even though, in his position of authority, it would have been easy for him to have done so. He followed the Scriptural principle of "never take your own revenge" (Romans 12:19). No wonder verse 3 mentions Moses' humility!
Like Moses, we should pray for others - even those who criticize us (v13). It's amazing how our criticism of another person tapers off as we begin to pray specifically and sincerely for that person.
Constructive Criticism
In conclusion, it should be mentioned that there is a place for criticism that is legitimate, helpful. However, to be sure that our comments are truly constructive criticism, we should follow two Scriptural principles:
The first principle is the "log before splinter" principle, found in Matthew 7:3-5. Let ‘s make sure we get the log out of our own eye so we can see clearly - before we try to remove small slivers from the eyes of others!
The second principle is private confrontation, found in Matthew 18:15. Let’s make our helpful, constructive comments directly to the person - not behind his or her back. And let’s do it in private - not in front of others.
If we follow these Scriptural principles, our comments to others can be truly helpful and constructive - and not constrictive!
- Dave Reid